Resisting Her Read online

  He seemed agitated and Maddie was suddenly very aware that she was still naked. She scrambled to the edge of the bed trying to cover herself as she grabbed for her discarded clothes.

  “You can stay in bed, I’m just going to step in the shower.” She wasn’t sure why the mood had changed and felt this was her cue to leave. She quickly slipped on her clothes.

  “No I need to do some laundry and other stuff so I should get a move on anyway.” She smiled briefly then scampered down the hall to her room.

  Chapter 21

  The next week was touch and go, one minute Bennet was moody and taciturn and the next he was pinning her against a wall and kissing her passionately. She wasn’t sure what the underlying issue was but she couldn’t help but feel it had to do with her. It almost seemed like it pained him to desire her…that his regret built with every kiss.

  Sitting at her desk on Friday she reached out to Jazmine to see if she was down for some dinner and drinks. ‘Yes please!’ Ethan has rounds tonight so it was just going to be me and some Ben & Jerry’s on the couch tonight.’

  Maddie smiled at her phone, ‘LOL well we can’t have that. Meet me at that Tapas place we saw last month at 6:30. I’ll make a reservation’

  As the day was ending Maddie figured she should tell Bennet she would be out late and that she didn’t need a ride home. The door opened to the top floor, Janice had already left for the day so Bennet’s door was already open. She knocked softly as she peered inside. Bennet was sitting back in his chair lost in thought, staring off into the distance of the city.

  “Hi, Bennet?” He snapped to attention and a big smile spread across his face.

  “You ready to leave?” He said as he jumped up and began gathering his things.

  “Actually I was just stopping by to tell you that I’m meeting Jazmine for dinner so I don’t need a ride tonight.” She could see his smile faded a bit.

  “Oh ok well I hope you ladies have a lovely evening. I should get going myself too, I’ll walk you out.”

  Once outside Bennet offered to give her a ride to the restaurant, “That’s ok I’ve called an Uber, it’s just a quick 10 minute ride.”

  “Will you need a ride home? I can come get you just tell me where you’ll be. Doesn’t matter how late it is.” She felt bad turning him down but didn’t want to be a burden.

  “Honestly don’t worry about it, I’m’ sure if it’s too late I’ll just stay at Jazmine’s.” He nodded and reached his arm out to pull her closer, she was shocked at the overt display especially in front of the office and put her hands against his chest.

  “I thought we were keeping things a secret!” She said in a hushed tone as if anyone could hear her. His face said it all.

  “A secret?” She wasn’t sure why he seemed surprised.

  “Yeah we talked about it.”

  “We talked about keeping our relationship separate from work. I said that I would respect your boundaries. I never agreed to keep it a SECRET!”

  Maddie was confused and Bennet was clearly irate. “Relationship? I—I thought it was just a physical thing, I’m sorry.” His face went from anger to looking like he’d just been sucker punched. “How was I supposed to know this was a relationship? You’re a billionaire who dates models and you’re 12 years older than me! I thought it was just a fling or something you needed to get out of your system because you’re rich and powerful and nobody says no to you!”

  “No do not put this on me those are YOUR prejudices. I told you I wanted to get to know you more and be intimate with you, how much clearer could I be? Is that why you went along with things? Because you were afraid to say ‘no’ to me? Because it was what you thought I wanted?”

  Maddie’s eyes began to fill with tears, “Wait, Bennet no, that’s not what I meant! I wanted it too!” She tried to reach out and grab his arm but he brushed her off.

  “Clearly you don’t know what you want, have a good night Maddie.” He mumbled as he ducked into his car and rode off.

  Maddie stood on the sidewalk with tears streaming down her face. How could she have been so stupid and callous? He had looked broken and defeated like she had betrayed him. Just then her Uber pulled up. “Guess it’s good I’m going for drinks.” She said between sniffles.

  Jazmine’s mouth was hanging open as Maddie spilled her guts about the last few months. “Jaz I had no idea that he wanted a relationship with me! He could have anyone why would he choose me? He is way out of my league and I was scared to get my feelings involved! I feel like such a piece of shit.” She put her head in her hands on the bar top.

  “Okay…first of all we will come back to the part where you hid this from your best friend. Don’t think I’m letting that slide! However, the bigger issue at hand here is YOU are making this about YOU. He’s right you completely judged him and had these preconceived notions in your head about what you thought he wanted from you. That’s not fair to do to someone, neither is projecting your insecurities on them.” Maddie slowly lifted her head as Jazmine took a sip of her drink.

  “Thanks Jaz for pointing out the obvious here. Not helping! I just…I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t see HIM coming! I feel like an asshole and an idiot at the same time.” She laughed a little as she told Jazmine some of the silly things he does, how he runs his hands through his hair when he’s stressed or frustrated or thinking. The way he talks through making dinner like he’s on a cooking show.

  “Oh my god you love him.” Jazmine smiled as she made the statement.

  “Love? Please! No, it’s infatuation and he is a good friend so of course I care about him.” Maddie made exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures as she combated Jazmine’s observation. “Ok now that you know all the details of my crazy life can we just enjoy some drinks and maybe pretend that none of this happened?” Maddie raised her glass as if she were making a toast.

  “Ok but you’re not going to just avoid this. You once again need to apologize and talk to him, agreed?” She held back her glass, refusing to cheers until Maddie finally rolled her eyes and agreed.

  Chapter 22

  Maddie groaned and rolled over on the couch, hoping last night was just a dream. The late morning sun was pouring through the blinds of Jazmine’s apartment. She rolled over and replayed the events from yesterday evening, “God I’m such an idiot!” She said into her pillow. Jazmine agreed from the kitchen as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

  “I got called into work unfortunately so you need to get your lazy ass together, we leave in 10 min.” She set some coffee down on the counter for Maddie, “I’m going to take Macy out for a quick walk around the block.”

  The ride back over to Bennet’s was dreadful, it was the only time in her life she prayed for traffic on a Saturday morning just to prolong the inevitable. As the elevator doors opened into his house she peaked around the corner to see if he was in sight. The coast was clear, she walked briskly to her room, almost making it before Bennet walked around the corner and stopped. She stood awkwardly for what seemed like an eternity.

  “Good morning.” She raised her hand in a causal wave only to realize he was dressed in business attire and dragging his suitcase.

  “Good Morning, I have to fly to Amsterdam for work, I should be back sometime next week. Vince will be in the office to continue to help you sort through some things if you need it. Janice will also assist in any interviews you schedule for candidates.”

  Maddie was sure her face spoke for her but she couldn’t wait a week to apologize to him, “Bennet please I’m sorry! Can we just talk for a minute, I promise I’ll be quick.” He walked past her as he checked his phone.

  “Stuart is already waiting for me.” He stopped right before the elevator opened, “You don’t need to apologize Maddie, it didn’t work out and that’s ok. I’m sure you’ll find someone who is more age appropriate and can be what you need.”

  And with that he left. Maddie sank to the floor, as tear rolled down her face, she felt like her heart wa
s breaking into a million little pieces.

  She tried to go on about her day, she went for a long run on the lakefront to distract herself but she just kept thinking about the times she had run with Bennet. She spent a few hours at her local Humane Society playing with the kittens and helping clean cages but ended up just crying and holding every cat telling it how much she loved it and that she wished she could bring it home.

  By the time the sun had set she had cried as much as she could and instead decided to turn her sadness into productivity. She spent time on ideas for the next Larson campaign, went over resumes for an admin and scheduled her boxing classes for the week. If there was one thing she was good at it was multitasking even when she’d rather be elbow deep in some ice-cream.

  She was just finishing up her late afternoon snack when she got a call from the company that managed her apartment building.

  “Hi Miss Strickland? This is Amy from RRS Management, I wanted to confirm with you that the apartments have been cleared by the health department and fire and safety so you are all set to move back in at your earliest convenience.”

  It couldn’t have come at a better time. She was sure Bennet would be thrilled to return home without her in his space. She hadn’t missed living alone like she thought she would, in fact she had grown so accustomed to having Bennet around that she missed him whenever he traveled.

  “Not in love,” she said aloud trying to convince herself that all of the little tell-tale signs pointed to friendship and lust but definitely not love.

  The next few days at work were busy but she had decided that she would move back to her apartment on Wednesday to be sure she had plenty of time to get back into a routine before Bennet returned. The last thing she wanted was to be running late several days in a row trying to get acclimated back to taking public transportation.

  It was Wednesday evening and Maddie had successfully moved her small amount of belongings from Bennet’s house back to her place. She left a small handwritten note on the counter next to the keys he had let her borrow thanking him for his generosity and kindness then she headed back her place. She suddenly had the urge to stop back by the Humane Society she had visited this past weekend. The tubby orange cat she had befriended was still there, looking sad and alone in his cage.

  “Excuse me? What’s the adoption process for a cat?” The lady at the front desk looked up over her glasses.

  “Here’s a form we need you to fill out, the price depends on the age of the cat and we’d need you to confirm that you have the necessary space and items to care for an animal in your home.”

  “I’d like the orange one, I think he’s named Rascal.” The lady looked over the charts on her desk.

  “He’s 6 years old so he’s only a $50 fee however we do have a 24 waiting period to verify your information.”

  Maddie filled out the forms and grabbed a sheet telling her the things she would need to buy to adopt a cat. She gave Rascal some scratches, promising she’d be back for him soon and headed off to the pet store to get her supplies.

  Chapter 23

  Bennet ended up extending his trip by almost another week, but today was the day he was supposed to be returning to the office. Maddie was nervous and excited to see him. She had spent the last week focusing on her new cat Rascal and helping him get acclimated to his new home that she hadn’t really spent any time thinking about how it would be to see Bennet again.

  She laid in bed scratching Rascal’s head as he purred and kneaded the blankets, they had bonded instantly.

  “Sorry buddy but I have to go to work.” She gave him a kiss on the head then headed to the shower to get ready.

  The entire train ride was an emotional rollercoaster…she nervously bounced her knee, tapped her foot and drummed her nails at the same time. Should she just approach this as completely professional? What if he acts like everything is ok should she go along with it?

  She deliberated the best way to handle it…ultimately she agreed that the office wasn’t the place to deal with their personal issues so she would be respectful of his boundaries but she couldn’t go on without telling him exactly how she felt.

  He was already in his office when she got to work, now that she was on the same floor as him she could see for the most part when he came and went. She needed him to sign off on some major design changes on the Lawson file as well as some expense reports. She had scheduled a meeting with him via Janice for today so she gathered her notes and headed towards his office.

  “So I already sent these over to the Larsons and they signed off on the new designs and agreed on a deadline for the campaign.” She handed him printouts of the contract details as well as confirmed that she had sent Janice everything via email as well.

  “Thanks Madeline I appreciate it. I’ll make sure these are signed and returned to Mr. Lawson this week.” She nodded her head, gathered her things and headed back to her office.

  She wanted so badly to tell him she was sorry, to tell him that she cared for him and missed him; that she needed him in her life. He seemed so cold and distant, nothing like the man she had grown to know and….love? She couldn’t bring herself to admit it, not when she had lost him. She would continue to be the best employee she could be and extend her friendship to him at any chance she got.

  The days started to blur together, one right after the other was just the same. Every day she went to work, hit the gym and tried to avoid Bennet as much as possible. The only constant source of love and joy in her life at the moment was Rascal. He greeted her every day at the front door, rubbing against her and purring loudly. She had upped her boxing workouts to help distract her and get her mind off of any guilt or sadness she felt but it didn’t seem to be working.

  “Maddie…Listen, I’m going to say this with honest love and concern. You don’t look good. You’re thinner than normal, you look pale and you have become a full blown cat lady. The last three times I’ve tried to schedule anything with you, you blew me off for your cat.” Maddie stared blankly at the floor as she unwrapped her wrists. “Have you tried to at least talk to him about what happened?” She nodded her head no, trying to fight back the tears.

  “No, I haven’t. He seems so cold and distant Jaz, like it pains him to even look at me!” She plopped down on the bench in the locker room with a loud sigh.

  “Well I can see why, he honestly cared about you and you basically told him that he was too old and a stuck up billionaire only using you for sex.” Jazmine looked her right in the eyes, “Maddie at some point you need to start taking responsibility for your actions, you can’t live in this closed off bubble thinking you aren’t hurting anyone. It’s not the case, clearly as evidenced by this recent situation with Bennet.”

  Maddie hugged her knees to her chest and sucked in a shaky breath. She knew Jaz was absolutely right, she had tried to put up walls thinking that if she never let anyone in she would never get hurt…turns out, that wasn’t the case.

  “So how do you think I should approach this? Just show up at his house? I don’t think work is the best place.”

  Jazmine smiled, “We’ll figure it out I promise, and no work is not the place! Now let’s go work this out over pizza to completely ruin this workout we had and pretend the calories don’t count.”

  Maddie pulled Jazmine to her in a tight hug, “Thank you for always being so wonderful to me. I know I’m difficult and undeserving of the love you show me…You really are amazing.”

  Jazmine squeezed her back, “Maddie so are you, you’re more than just my best friend. You’re the sister I never had.”

  Chapter 24

  Maddie’s plan was in place. She had convinced Stuart to let her get in Bennet’s car at the last minute, he would lock the doors and take off into traffic so he couldn’t run away. She realized this was a ridiculous plan but she wasn’t going to risk showing up at his place only to have the doorman refuse her entry or worse have Bennet send her away.

  She anxiously checked the clock, 5:30 PM. Be
nnet usually gathered his things around 5:54-6:00 PM to head out. She finished up her tasks and shut down her computer. She would head down a little early to hide out in the lobby and wait for him to leave.

  She wore her sunglasses and stood nervously behind a large plant in the lobby, realizing how ridiculous she must look she took a selfie and sent it to Jazmine with the hashtag #spymode. The elevator opened and she heard his usual goodnights to the lobby staff as he headed out the revolving door.

  She could see Stuart making small talk with him outside of the car, this was her chance! She made a mad dash out of the far left door and right as Bennet was closing his door she jumped into the car on the other side, barely dodging a bike messenger that flew past. She slammed the door, Stuart hit the locks and sped off into traffic like it was a scene from an action movie.

  Bennet looked over at her in confusion as he reached out to help steady her in the seat.

  “Maddie? What the hell are you doing?”

  “Bennet, I can’t just keep going on like this, I need to tell you how I feel and that I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t know you actually liked me honestly!” She spoke as fast as she could, hoping to get it out before he stopped the car and threw her on the curb.

  “I was stupid and wrong and you’re not too old for me! I was trying to protect myself and put up walls and I see that now! I just…I don’t know what to do, I miss you and I can’t keep pretending I’m ok.” Tears began to stream down her cheeks, she wiped them away frantically as she continued to pour her heart out.

  Bennet’s hands were folded in his lap as he listened to Maddie. She finally stopped to take a breath giving him the chance to respond. “Maddie, I’m not angry with you. I’m not trying to punish you or make you feel bad I just didn’t know what you needed or wanted. I wanted you to figure it out and come to your own conclusion without me in your way.”