Naughty or Nice: A Friends to Lovers Christmas Romance Read online

  “No,” I start, but she cuts me off.

  “Yes! Party! Let’s do it. I haven’t been to a good party yet this year.”

  “No, no way. Your mom would kill me, and since when have you ever partied, little Miss Goody Two-Shoes?” I point out. I can see her brow furrow; she always hates when I call her that but it’s the truth. Lately it seems like she’s on some kick trying to get rid of the moniker.

  “So we just won’t tell her,” she argues. “Come on, Carson. I’ve been driving all day. I need to let loose. Please,” she says, getting herself up onto her knees on the couch. She looks up at me with pleading eyes. Fuck. Why do I want her so badly? Seeing her like this, begging me for something on her knees, all I can see is making mascara run down her cheeks as she takes me deeper and deeper into that mouth of hers. But. That. Can’t. Happen.

  No, this is Felicity after all. The little girl who followed me everywhere. The girl who chased off more shitty girlfriends than I can count. This is the girl I have to protect at all costs.

  I shake the dirty thoughts from my head and say, “Alright, we’ll go for a little bit. And no drinking!” I tell her as I point my finger in her direction.

  “Fine,” she agrees, showing me her palms.

  A little while later, we walk into the party and it seems like every guy here has his sights set on her. “Hey, Carson. Who’s your friend?” Dan asks, motioning toward Felicity.

  I wrap my arm around her and pull her to my side. “This is my friend from back home. Her name is Felicity.”

  “Nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink?” he asks her.

  “No,” I jump in and answer for her.

  Her eyes cut toward me, but I narrow mine on her and she backs down.

  This seems to be the pattern for the evening. Guys come up to her and I chase them off. She seems annoyed at first, then just learns to accept it. I have a few drinks and start hanging out and talking with the guys. That’s when she decides to go off in search of a bathroom. I let her go, thinking she can’t get into much trouble in there, but about forty-five minutes later, I remember that I’m supposed to be watching her and she still isn’t back.

  I break away from the guys and go in search of her. After checking out most of the rooms, I find her in the kitchen with another guy. I don’t know him but they’re standing awfully close to one another and they both have a shot glass in their hands. She’s laughing at something he’s saying and he’s eating it up.

  I grab ahold of her arm and pull her toward me. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “What? I was just talking with Chris,” she says, lifting her shot glass up and swallowing back the liquid.

  “You’re not supposed to be drinking. You’re under age,” I point out.

  She rolls her green eyes. “Oh, like you didn’t drink before you turned twenty-one?”

  I shake my head. “This isn’t about me. I’m responsible for you this weekend. If your mom finds out, she’ll have my balls. And what the hell has gotten into you?”

  She giggles. “Look, the damage is done. Can’t we just relax and have some fun?”

  I shoot her a glare, but she bats those fucking lashes at me again and I can’t say no.

  “Please? Just a little longer and you can drag me out of here if you want.”

  “Only if you promise me one thing,” I say.

  “Anything. Name it!”

  “No guys. You can drink and hang out, but no guys. No making out. No going upstairs. Got it?” I ask, giving her my death glare. “If you end up knocked up, it’s not going to get traced back to this weekend.”

  She flinches at the harsh words, but I didn’t know how else to put it. Clearly her hooking up with someone would anger me, but it’s not for the reasons she thinks. She thinks I’m just looking out for her. But really, I can’t stand to think of another man touching her. She’s mine and always has been.

  “Deal,” she agrees, and I release her arm.

  That seems like so long ago. I feel like I’m a completely different person now. In a way, I guess I am. I’m no longer a college student who is desperately working to get a degree to get a job to support myself. Back then, I knew that there would be no help for me, so I made sure I put forth the effort I needed to do what I needed to do. Now, I’m set. I did the work, I got the degree, I landed the job, I got the life I wanted. But something is missing. It’s her. She’s always been by my side before. These last few years of living separately haven’t been easy. I find myself constantly thinking of her, trying to replace her in some way. All the women I date somehow seem to remind me of her—I know, it’s fucked up and my therapist would agree. Things could have been so much different if I wasn’t so damn stupid. But I pushed her away that night, the night of the party.

  I never should have made that deal with her. Now she’s wasted and even though she’s holding up her end of the bargain, that doesn’t mean that the guys haven’t stopped coming up to her. Jealously is eating me alive as I watch her talk with guy after guy.

  Her long cinnamon-brown hair is in bouncy curls and her green eyes that can light up a room are bloodshot. She’s happy and smiling, laughing at all the stupid shit these guys are saying, and here I am, drunk, alone, and jealous.

  Tired of throwing my own pity party, I get up and walk up to her. “Are you ready to go? It’s getting late and I think we’re both pretty hammered.”

  Her green eyes, that remind me so much of glowing emeralds, land on mine. Her thick, glistening lips turn up in a smile. “Well, I am having a lot of fun with your friends here, but I think I could have just as much fun with you alone at your place.”

  I get the double meaning there and it makes my dick twitch with excitement, even though I would never allow it. “Alright, sweetheart. Let’s get out of here then.” I hold out my arm and she laces hers through it. I lead us out of the party and out of the house. Luckily, the party isn’t a far walk from my place so we pass by my car and instead opt to walk for a safer option.

  The night is warm for being early fall and the leaves on the trees are falling and bunch up on the sides of the sidewalk. Every few steps, I hear the crunch under our feet, and it reminds me of raking the leaves together as kids, only to jump in them.

  “Thanks for showing me a good time,” she says, stealing me from my thoughts.

  I smile. “Well, you didn’t give me much of a choice, now did you?” I smirk in her direction.

  She laughs and shrugs one shoulder. “You could’ve said no.”

  “I did say no; you just argued until you got your way.”

  Her smile widens but her feet stop moving. “Hey, I didn’t say I’d give up. You just give up too easy.”

  I laugh. “Well, it’s kind of hard when you beg and bat your lashes at me like that.”

  She wets her lips and the action draws my eyes to them. I quickly look back up and meet her intense gaze. The green only seems to be lighting up the darkness. “You know, I’m not a child anymore. I can take care of myself, right?”

  I shake my head slightly. “No, you’re not a little girl anymore, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll ever stop protecting you.”

  “Why do you feel the need to protect me? I know what I want and I’m prepared for the consequences.”

  “You know what you want?” I ask, all amusement gone. She’s never been one to make up her mind. She’s always back and forth.

  She nods. “I do know what I want, Carson, and I always have.” After that sentence leaves her lips, she presses them against mine.

  At first, I’m shocked and I don’t know what to do. I mean, this is Felicity after all. The girl I’ve sworn to protect, even from myself. All I’ll do is take her down with me. But then again, this is Felicity, the girl who has been running around my mind more and more these last few years. The girl who’s somehow grown into a woman, a sexy-as-fuck woman who’s teased me without even knowing it. I have to stop this, but there’s no rule that says when I have to stop it. I can enjoy it
a little while, savor it. I mean, if nothing else, I’ll blame it on the drinking.

  Her tongue pushes past my lips and I open for her. Her tongue touches mine and it’s like being struck by lightning. Suddenly, every nerve ending is on fire, every muscle hard and prepared to take her away, someplace close by so I can finally have my way with her.

  My hands move up to cup her cheeks as I deepen the kiss. Her hands fist into my shirt, pulling me closer as our kiss grows deeper and more urgent. All I can think about is that party I went to back home, the one where I found her stripping on the table. I thought for sure I was going to prison or the morgue that night. Either because I was going to kill myself trying to get to her or because I was going to take every fucking guy on that looked at her.

  There’s a lamp post nearby and I walk her backward a few steps and press her back to it. My hand falls down to her hip and I pick up one of her legs and hitch it up over my hip. I press my hips into her, and she lets out a soft moan into my mouth. My body is alive and feels as though it’s been set on fire. It’s like I’m burning up from the inside out. I reach between us and unzip my coat, suddenly too hot but not hot enough to pull me out of this moment or make me stop. No, the street is mostly dead. It’s dark. I could fuck her right here on the sidewalk right now and I bet nobody would notice or be around to see it. So, what’s stopping me? She’s perfect. I’ve wanted her for years. She seems to want me too. Or maybe she’s just drunk. That’s enough right there. This thing between me and her, it’s too much. It’s too much to think about when we’re sober. So that means neither of us can wrap our heads around it right now. Plus, she’s only eighteen. Has she even had sex yet? I can’t be the one to take it, can I? If I stop and ask these questions, I know it will kill the moment between us.

  And that’s what we need. We need an out. A way to undo these last few minutes and keep moving on the way we should. I pull back and break the kiss. I allow her leg to slide back down until her foot is on the ground.

  “We can’t do this, Felicity.”

  Her eyes lock on mine.

  “We’ve been drinking. This never should have happened. I’m sorry,” I say, pulling away completely.

  Felicity is different from the rest. Of all the women I’ve been with, none of them have been like her. None of them knew the perfect words to say when I needed them. None of them could stop me from doing something stupid with one look. None of them could get under my skin, like her. She’s been the only one in my life who’s had any power over me. Before I didn’t know how to stop things from changing between us. Now, I don’t want to stop them. All I know is that I’ve been hoping and praying that nothing has changed.

  Three

  Felicity

  “I’m so proud of your honey,” Mom says on our drive home from the airport. The ceremony was at noon today. It was just a small one since I graduated in the off semester. My school is one of the only colleges that does two ceremonies a year. From there, we packed up my stuff and took it to a shipping company to have it shipped back to the house. Then we hopped a flight from South Carolina to St. Louis, Missouri. From St Louis, we have to drive. But it’s only about an hour-and-a-half drive home.

  “I know, Mom,” I reply, glancing over at her before looking down at the phone in my hands, wishing that Carson would call or text or something. But I guess since he’s coming home too, he’s probably busy with driving from Chicago to Benton, Illinois, our hometown.

  “I know I’ve said it a dozen times since this morning, but I just want to make sure you understand how proud of you I am. I mean, you’re my only child, to get to see you graduate, it is…” She lets out a sigh. “It’s the proudest moment of my life. I can only hope that I’ll be around to see you get married and have children.”

  I laugh. “God, Mom. You make it sound like you’re dying.”

  She laughs. “Oh, you know what I mean.”

  “Well, I’m in no hurry to settle down anytime soon. I have to stay focused and keep momentum. I have to get a job and figure out my life.”

  “Oh, you have all of the time in the world. There’s no rush for any of that.”

  “I can’t be the adult daughter who lives with her mother forever.”

  “What’s your plans for tonight? You got plans to meet up with any of your old friends?”

  I shrug. “Just Carson. We’re supposed to hang out, but I have no idea what we’re going to do yet.”

  She smiles. “I was just talking to his parents yesterday.”

  “His mom and his stepdad, Mom. Not parents,” I point out on his behalf.

  She waves a hand through the air. “You know what I mean. They didn’t mention him coming home this weekend. He doesn’t come home often, you know?”

  “I do know, and I’m sure they didn’t mention it because it’s none of your business,” I joke. She’s always been such a busybody.

  She gasps. “What? It’s not like I was prodding them for information.”

  I laugh. “I’m just joking, Mom. But maybe he hadn’t told them yet or maybe he’s planning on staying at a hotel and not seeing them. You know how rocky their relationship is.”

  She nods. “I know, but at some point, they’re going to have to let all of that go. Connie is a wonderful lady and Jack, he’s a good man.”

  “Sure, what you know of them.” That’s not fair; his mom is a wonderful lady and I haven’t had to deal with Jack much, but what I’ve learned, he seems okay enough. “It’s just that his parents’ divorce took a toll on him. And then even after, they kept using him as a pawn in their game. He doesn’t have the best relationship with either of them.”

  “Well, he turned out okay, so there’s that.”

  “He turned out okay because he’s strong and smart. He put in the work he needed to do to get to where he is. It has very little to do with either of his parents or his stepfather.” I don’t know why I’m getting so annoyed with this conversation. It has nothing to do with me, but I remember his parents’ divorce was one of the key things that built our relationship as kids. He was always outside, trying to escape their yelling and fighting. That drove him right to me, the girl next door.

  “Why are you sitting out here all alone for?” I ask as I sit at his side on the curb.

  He shrugs, and we’re so close, when his shoulder lifts up and falls, it rubs against mine.

  “Parents fighting again?” I ask, and he nods. “At least you have parents to fight. I only got my mom.”

  “I’d rather have one happy parent than two miserable ones,” he says, seeming wise beyond his years.

  I guess he does have a point there. I don’t reply as I divert my eyes to the street in front of us, watching as our neighbor’s cat lounges in the warm road due to no traffic in our small town.

  “Well, you want to sit here pouting or you want to do something fun?”

  He looks at me from the corner of his eyes. “What do you want to do?” he breathes out.

  I stand up excitedly but try to hold it off in fear of scaring him away. “Let’s go explore the woods behind the house. Maybe we can find a dead body or something.”

  He snorts but stands up too. “I’d rather do that than have a tea party or whatever you little girls like to do.” We both start walking toward the tree line behind our houses.

  Every day after that, we spend our time in the woods, hiking, talking, laughing, playing hide and seek, and climbing trees. The forest, it’s our happy place. Nobody can touch us out here.

  “Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re home,” Mom says, shaking my shoulder.

  I open my eyes and see that we’re parked in front of our single-story brick home. There’s a slight glow shining out the living room window and the porch light is on, ready to greet us.

  “Who shoveled the driveway?” I ask.

  “I pay Mrs. Taylor’s grandson thirty dollars to do it; he always does the sidewalk too.”

  “Damn, inflation is crazy.” I shake my head, remembering when Carson and I would
walk around asking neighbors if we could shovel their driveway for ten dollars. And we had to split that!

  I yawn and undo my seat belt before opening the door and climbing out into the crunch of fresh snow. Mom pops the trunk and gets out the bag of clothing I packed and leads the way to the door. I look up at the Christmas lights that run along the railing of the house and smile; she still uses the big colored ones that are currently set to chase one another in a specific pattern. I used to always want them on the setting that looked like a strobe light, but my mom told me it was obnoxious for the neighbors and people driving by. I’m still partially asleep and trudging toward the door when Carson’s mom comes walking off her porch.

  “Felicity, is that you?”

  “It’s me, Mrs. Hamilton,” I reply, my feet coming to a stop on their journey.

  “Look at you!” she says, stepping into the brightness from the outside porch light. “I haven’t seen you in years. You look so grown up,” she says, pulling me in for a tight hug.

  “You look amazing, yourself, Mrs. Hamilton. How’s Jack doing?”

  She releases me and waves a hand through the air as if to say, you know men. “Does Carson know you’re coming home? I just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago. He should be arriving any minute.”

  I nod. “He knows.”

  She smiles, nudging my shoulder. “That must be the reason for his visit.”

  I want to say duh, but I don’t. I just shrug and offer up a smile.

  “Well, you better go get freshened up.” She practically shoos me off.

  Mom smiles and hands me the keys to the house and my bag of clothes. I let myself in while they stand around and talk. I drop her keys on the table by the door, then walk through the living room; everything still looks exactly the same. I set my bag down and walk over to the Christmas tree, bending down to plug it in. I can smell the pine needles and I smile; Mom still refuses to ever get a fake tree. I stand there for a moment, basking in the glow of the warm lights as I finger one of the ornaments. It’s shaped to look like a snowman with a frame in the center of it. The picture is me at two years old in a giant puffy snowsuit out on the front lawn. I take a moment to look at few of the other ornaments. I wish Mom had waited to decorate the tree until I got home; it was always one of my favorite traditions with her. We’d order pizza, put on Christmas Vacation, and decorate the tree. I sigh, picking up my bag again and heading down the hallway toward my old bedroom.